Emotional Intelligence 101 – Who Are You?

Emotional Intelligence 101 – Who Are You?

Beta Life Series

Emotional Intelligence 101 – Who Are You?

Samuel Osho

After being brutally beaten and robbed, a man was left unconscious on the roadside. A psychiatrist was passing by, he paused, looked at the man and exclaimed: “My God, whoever did this, really needs help!”

What’s the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A magician pulls rabbits out of hats whereas a psychologist pulls habits out of rats. 

Long before the field of psychology received significant attention, there was little or no importance placed on the value of emotional intelligence. But recent studies have convincingly proven that to succeed in today’s world, high intelligence quotient (IQ) is not enough. For guaranteed success in leadership positions, you need an excellent blend of IQ and emotional intelligence. 

You must have heard people say that managing people is a tough job. That’s why leadership and management will be a hard nut to crack for anyone that fails to intentionally understand people and why they act the way they do. But how can you understand others if you are not fully aware of who you are? 

It’s easy to manage robots – no mood swings, no sick days, no anger feats, and all sorts. But when your job requires managing a team of four to six people, a headache pops up and then you are about to explode. 

It’s clear that it’s impossible to separate human beings and their emotions. Your typical day can best be described as a rollercoaster of diverse feelings and emotions – angry, happy, sad, ashamed, afraid, anxious and we have some emotions that are without names.  

It’s a huge challenge to effectively deal with emotions because our brains are wired to always give emotional reactions an upper hand. When you receive signals from your sensory organs – sight, smell, hearing and touch; the signals pass through the spinal cord at the base of your brain to its destination (the frontal lobe – the back of your forehead). But before the signal reaches the frontal lobe, it has to pass through the limbic system. The limbic system is the seat of emotions while the frontal lobe is the seat of rational thinking and logic. So, the signals get tampered with and evoke some emotions before they reach the center of logical thinking. That’s the popular emotional hijacking! 

 

In the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, Emotional Intelligence was divided into four core areas: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. 

The first two – self-awareness and self-management drive your personal competence because they have to do with the understanding and management of your personal emotions. 

The last two – social awareness and relationship management controls your social competence because they involve comprehending the emotions of people around you and effectively manage your interactions with them. 

In conclusion, low emotional intelligence is not the end of the world. Not when you are determined to see it grow and improve. But the foundation of all the four core areas is self-awareness – it sets the pace for the development of other areas. The journey to increasing your emotional intelligence starts with YOU – it does not start by pointing fingers, it starts by going inside out.

For further reading on Emotional Intelligence, you can check the following books: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.

Beta Life Series – Becoming an Effective Listener

Beta Life Series – Becoming an Effective Listener

Beta Life Series

Becoming an Effective Listener

Samuel Osho

Stop whatever you are doing, turn your head slowly, and survey your surroundings. Count how many people are talking at the moment.
One, Two, Three, Four, …” You lost count, right? 
It’s not just about them, you also love to talk. It’s an innate human desire to express your thoughts and above all, be seen and accepted. 

 

When two parties are involved in conversations, have you observed the pace of responses? One party is barely done speaking before the other party jumps in. Such conversations mirror debates with a series of rebuttals. You are ready to fire back before the speaking party is done. No wonder, several conversations are unproductive. 

Is it possible that while you are consumed with the drive to respond, you lose opportunities to learn, you miss chances to understand and consequently show a lack of ability to build trust? 

To be a superb communicator, you must sharpen your listening skills. Listen patiently to understand and not with an intent to criticize or reply.  

Listening distinguishes itself from hearing because it requires concentration. So, it’s impossible to listen if you are distracted by your phone. Give full eye contact, follow with nods, watch the body language, repeat some of the speaker’s statements when seeking clarifications.  

To be an effective listener, you have to follow along with rapt attention, unravel the story behind the message, and absorb everything you can from the conversation before responding. 

 

In a world where everyone is in a hurry to talk, excellent listeners are rare. However, you can spot them in the way they show empathy, build trust, make wise decisions, and lead united communities. 

To succeed as a leader, it is usually not about your inspiring speeches but how much intentional listening you can do. In listening with empathy, you connect with the heart, and that’s all that makes the difference.

15 Inspiring Quotes from John Maxwell on Success and Leadership

15 Inspiring Quotes from John Maxwell on Success and Leadership

15 Inspiring Quotes from John Maxwell on Success and Leadership
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FEBRUARY, 2018
Samuel Osho
Leadership is often regarded as a mesh of complex theories and a web of mysteries until Maxwell came on the scene. American author, John C. Maxwell, demystifies the indispensable concept of leadership with simple words and inspiring stories. His riveting message is specially designed for anyone who aspires to be a courageous leader in his/her sphere.
Maxwell has published over 30 books and sold over 20 million copies. He is a leadership coach and expert with a wealth of experience spanning over two decades of attending to the needs of world leaders and employees of Fortune 500 companies.
Photo Credit: www.johnmaxwell.com
When the going gets tough and you are wearied by the heavy blow of failure, words of inspiration may be all you need to awaken the strength within. Words are powerful, words have power, and words can be your power. These quotes from Maxwell are motivating nuggets – amazing balls of energy that can propel you to the next stage in life.
Let’s get started!
The Fifteen balls of energy

1.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” – John C. Maxwell.

2.

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” – John C. Maxwell.

3.

“Everything rises and falls on leadership.” – John C. Maxwell.

4.

“Live to learn and you will really learn to live.” – John C. Maxwell.

5.

“People’s capacity to achieve is determined by their leader’s ability to empower.” – John C. Maxwell.

6.

“Motivation gets you going, discipline keeps you growing.” – John C. Maxwell.

7.

“You will never change until you change something you do daily.” – John C. Maxwell

8.

“Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.” – John C. Maxwell.

10.

“Goals may give focus, but dreams give power.” – John C. Maxwell.

11.

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell.

12.

“A minute of thought is greater than an hour of talk.” – John C. Maxwell.

13.

“Leader become great, not because of their power, but because of their ability to empower others.” – John C. Maxwell.

14.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John C. Maxwell.

15.

“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” – John C. Maxwell.

Bonus Quote:

“The only guarantee for failure is to stop trying.” – John C. Maxwell

It’s high time you focused on excellence and watch success chase you pants down. Steer your life in the direction of purpose and find the courage to smile in the midst of your worries. Fight through self-doubt and be a strong leader both for yourself and those who follow you.
It is your turn to share with me. I am curious! Which one of these quotes is your favorite? 

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