Beta Life Series

Becoming an Effective Listener

Samuel Osho

Stop whatever you are doing, turn your head slowly, and survey your surroundings. Count how many people are talking at the moment.
One, Two, Three, Four, …” You lost count, right? 
It’s not just about them, you also love to talk. It’s an innate human desire to express your thoughts and above all, be seen and accepted. 

 

When two parties are involved in conversations, have you observed the pace of responses? One party is barely done speaking before the other party jumps in. Such conversations mirror debates with a series of rebuttals. You are ready to fire back before the speaking party is done. No wonder, several conversations are unproductive. 

Is it possible that while you are consumed with the drive to respond, you lose opportunities to learn, you miss chances to understand and consequently show a lack of ability to build trust? 

To be a superb communicator, you must sharpen your listening skills. Listen patiently to understand and not with an intent to criticize or reply.  

Listening distinguishes itself from hearing because it requires concentration. So, it’s impossible to listen if you are distracted by your phone. Give full eye contact, follow with nods, watch the body language, repeat some of the speaker’s statements when seeking clarifications.  

To be an effective listener, you have to follow along with rapt attention, unravel the story behind the message, and absorb everything you can from the conversation before responding. 

 

In a world where everyone is in a hurry to talk, excellent listeners are rare. However, you can spot them in the way they show empathy, build trust, make wise decisions, and lead united communities. 

To succeed as a leader, it is usually not about your inspiring speeches but how much intentional listening you can do. In listening with empathy, you connect with the heart, and that’s all that makes the difference.

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